New FAA regulations announced today are looking to make the skies a little safer. But can anything truly save us from those giant metal death traps hurling through the air? Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/thetopical Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/